No more lonely little Christmases: Chasing away the blues now and into the New Year

With the loneliness epidemic in the U.S. continuing to affect every one in five people, many will be feasting on Christmas memories, heaping second helpings of years gone as they sit at their empty tables.

On Christmas Day, though, First United Church of Christ in Richmond, Michigan, opens wide its doors, inviting all who are having a lonely little Christmas to be alone no more.

For three decades now, First United has been serving a free Christmas Day dinner that feeds not just the body, but downtrodden souls. Free rides to the church are also offered to those without any means of transportation.

The idea for the dinner began in 1992 when Glen and Diane Porrett, members of First United UCC, found themselves without a place to go home to that year.  

“We used to spend Christmas Day with our maternal grandparents. But when my grandmother died, we didn’t have anywhere to go,” said Justine Achatz, daughter of the Porretts.

It was then First United’s interim pastor asked the family if they wanted to help serve a Christmas dinner at a church in Port Huron, Michigan.

“And that’s what we did. My mom, dad and sister, Jennifer, went and served,” said Achatz.

Glen Porrett was so moved by the experience that the following year he approached their home church about organizing a Christmas Day dinner.

“My dad wanted to bring joy and connection to our community members who may not have anywhere else to celebrate,” said Achatz.

The tradition of sharing their Christmas Day family time with those without a place to go for the holidays continued for years. In February 2022, though, Diane Porrett passed away. The following January, Glen Porrett joined his wife at the heavenly banquet table. The sisters decided then that their parents’ Christmas Day dinner legacy would not die with them.

“We wanted to spread holiday cheer and make a difference in someone’s day, just as they did,” said Achatz.

Achatz and her sister, Jennifer Northam, took over the reins of the Christmas Day dinner last year, marking the 30-year milestone by honoring their parents through servanthood. Not surprisingly, it was a success. The sisters now serve as dinner co-chairs and anticipate the dinners to continue for years to come.

“We have many volunteers from the community, other churches and our friends and colleagues that make it all possible,” said Achatz. A local grocery chain has been providing gift cards to buy food, while this year a “very generous person,” says Achatz, donated turkeys.  

“Our parents were very giving, generous, kind-hearted, and always thought of others. We want to keep the tradition alive,” said Achatz.

The sisters will get no argument from First United’s pastor, the Rev. Katie Dailey, who welcomes these moments where the love of Christ becomes tangible.

In a social media post thanking the kitchen angels who prepped, cooked and served at last year’s dinner, Dailey wrote that Christmas is a time of year that not only brings people together in celebration, but reminds “us of the profound love and grace that envelops us all.”

“It’s a moment to rejoice in the birth of Jesus Christ and to embrace the spirit of giving, kindness and unity. It’s a time when we come together to share the blessings of peace and extend our hands in kindness to those around us,” she posted, adding, “Our church stands as a beacon of love and acceptance.”

Beacons of love beyond the holidays

Standing as beacons of love and acceptance are goals all churches should embrace, not just during the holidays but throughout the year, said the Rev. Dr. Sarah Lund, United Church of Christ’s minister for disabilities and mental health justice.

Lund noted that while congregations have been acknowledging the depression, desolation and despair that spikes in December by offering Blue Christmas services that provide safe spaces for these emotions to be named and felt, these services are needed more than once a year.

“A lot of folks are feeling grief — grief that is still lingering from the pandemic. But there is also an anticipatory grief as 2025 quickly approaches, bringing with it many policy changes,” said Lund.

Lund suggested that the Blue Christmas moment should expand into other seasons. “We have been socialized to compartmentalize our emotions, but what does it mean spiritually to ride the waves? What would it look like to incorporate acknowledgement of blue moments into all our church services,” she said.

Integrating liturgy and prayers that help people express the full range of emotions — and to trust that God is holding hearts and minds — is a New Year’s resolution Lund offers to congregations.

“Connecting with Emmanuel — God with us — and remembering this is a relationship that goes beyond Advent and Christmas is vital,” said Lund, adding her wish that 2025 be a year “where we connect more with one another and deepen relationships with more intentionality.”

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