When Will You, God?
I will sing of your love and justice; to you, Lord, I will sing praise. I will be careful to lead a blameless life—when will you come to me? – Psalm 101:1-2 (NIV)
Imagine the psalmist, poised above the parchment. They light a candle. They roll up their sleeves. They take a deep cleansing breath. Writing a psalm is a spiritual practice, and the first few lines, the first few moments come easy. Line One: gratitude for the many ways God works in the world. Line Two: praise for the Holy One. And Line Three: a heartfelt promise of excellent behavior to come. Imagine the psalmist, on a roll!
Then, a distraction. Maybe the light changes in the window. Maybe a child cries in the next room. Maybe the psalmist’s own thoughts intrude: a grocery list, an unfinished conversation, an old anger. Four lines in and they’ve been here long enough, grown weary of waiting for God to appear and deliver them from the tedium of their own thoughts. Four lines in, they’re already veering from spiritual practice into shaky petulance.
Oh, buddy, have I been there! How many times have I looked at the clock to realize that my seemingly prolonged episode of prayer has only lasted a few minutes? How many times have I learned a new prayer practice and then abandoned it before it’s really even tried? How many times have I demanded that God appear when I’ve barely started a conversation?
Countless, that’s how many. The psalmist isn’t done, though. So neither am I. And neither are you.
Prayer
Holy Friend, we light a candle, roll up our sleeves, take a breath. Meet us here again. Amen.
About the AuthorRev. Jennifer Garrison (formerly Brownell) is a writer, spiritual director and pastor living in the Pacific Northwest. Her published work most recently appeared in the book The Words of Her Mouth: Psalms for the Struggle, available from The Pilgrim Press.